Child's walk

One of my favorite definitions of a submissive wife is one that “is on her knees so when God swings at her husband she is out of the way”. Like many women, I want to play junior holy spirit and keep my family totally in line. Then I don’t have to worry about God smacking them. It deeply hurts when you watch somebody you love passionately get disciplined by God, to see how far into the pit they have to descend before they look up. When all the while you can see the direction their choices are taking them and the destruction about to take place.

I have now come to the enlightenment that that is not only the definition of a submissive wife, but also as a loving parent of adult children. It is very heart-rending to watch your child go through struggles that are of their own doing, knowing what would take care of it and having to keep your tongue under control so the lines of communication stay open.  To remember your sins that were born of your walking away from God should give you compassion and empathy for your child.

The biggest hindrance is pride. Pride is usually on both sides of the relationship. Pride that makes me want to rescue my loved ones because I know better, and pride of the child saying “I know what is best for me and I don’t need to listen to you”.  Though I try very hard to keep my mouth closed and to measure my words carefully, things don’t get heard the way they are intended.

Watching your child walk the wide path is probably one of the hardest things I have ever done. To try to be sensitive to the Holy Spirit’s leading of when to rescue, when to talk, or when to give them enough rope to hang themselves requires much prayer which requires much humbleness. It is a hard thing to give up control; I am most comfortable when I control the events in my life. I want to take over when things go wrong. I know that this is the common human response. I don’t want to be a controller, but to give my situations to the One who is The Controller.

“Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” Mark 9:24